Doing The Rock 'N' Roll Hop (Jeff Mondak, Sergio Wals, Mick Brady)
Wiggly toes and wiggly fingers
Sing along with all the singers
Rhythmic sounds that get us dancing
Music, music, it’s entrancing
Magic tones, we’re so excited
Firecrackers all ignited
Energy that’s quickly creeping
On our feet and now we’re leaping
We’re all smiling, we’re all jumping
Arms are waving, fists are pumping
We’re all smiling, we’re all jumping
Arms are waving, fists are pumping
Doing the rock 'n' roll
Doing the rock 'n' roll
Doing the rock 'n' roll hop
Racing fast and never stopping
Guitar chords that keep us hopping
Feet are stomping, hands are clapping
No one’s grandpa should be napping
Sing so loud the window’s shaking
Richter thinks the earth is quaking
Listen for I speak profoundly
Later we’ll be sleeping soundly
It’s better than a sugar rush or cartoons on TV
It twice as good as being bad
It’s rock and roll for me
Dear Lunch Lady (Jeff Mondak, Milo Anderson, Mick Brady)
You always serve us food to eat
There’s mac-and-cheese and mystery meat
There’s cream of this and cream of that
The cans have pictures of a cat
Today it’s chicken cordon bletch
First we eat it, then we retch
The green beans are a shade of gray
But that’s not what I’m here to say
Put a hair net on, put a hair net on
Ah come on lady, put a hair net on
There’s hair in my burger and hair in my fries
The hair everywhere has lost its surprise
Put a hair net on, put a hair net on
Ah come on lady, put a hair net on
A hair inside my pizza roll
These follicles, they take a toll
A lunch that’s bald is what I crave
Spaghetti shouldn’t need to shave
I think it’s time to tell your boss
My pudding came with dental floss
Your ladle work is among the best
But still I have this one request
We’ve followed you through bobs and perms
I’d rather eat a bowl of worms
There’s me and Sam and Mike and Keith
We've all got hair stuck in our teeth
There's A Party In The Kitchen Every Night (Jeff Mondak, Mick Brady)
Knives and forks make sure they’re shiny
Crock pot simmers, passing time
Measuring spoons from large to tiny
Squirm while dishrag scrubs the grime
Whisk and blender both start spinning
Stove-top burners come aglow
Another fun time’s soon beginning
Teapot whistles, start the show!
There’s a party in the kitchen
There’s a party in the kitchen
There’s a party in the kitchen every night
While humans doze and dream in bed
The gadgets dance and sing instead
There’s a party in the kitchen every night
Toaster casts the cup’s reflection
Keys and cell phone love to hide
Washer polkas with perfection
Waltzing with his dryer bride
Pots and pans continue crashing
Fridge and oven barely move
Funny faucet keeps on splashing
The old computer won’t approve
The rising sun disrupts the riot
Fun time ends with morning light
For the moment all turns quiet
Until the day gives way to night
I Saw My Teacher At The Beach (Jeff Mondak, Tim Frazier)
While sitting in the bleachers
I thought of kids and teachers
How as a rule, away from school
A teacher’s best unseen
We’re with them in our classes
But not among the masses
To spot one at the mall or park
Should never be routine
I saw my teacher at the beach
I saw my teacher at the beach
The whole thing took me by surprise
There wasn’t time to shade my eyes
I saw my teacher at the beach
Some teachers may have houses
And kids and dogs and spouses
But I’m the kind to lose my mind
When one goes driving by
My head’s been set to spinning
I saw my teacher grinning
She threw that Frisbee like a pro
When I saw her last July
I saw my teacher at the beach
I saw my teacher at the beach
Congress ought to make a law
To stop the kind of thing I saw
I saw my teacher at the beach
Who’s to say when they’ll appear
You never know when one is near
At swimming pools, the corner store
And maybe knocking at your door
I saw my teacher at the beach
I saw my teacher at the beach
She had to know that it was wrong
But still she stayed there all day long
I saw my teacher at the beach
I saw my teacher at the beach
I saw my teacher at the beach
I toss and turn in bed each night
My dreams are haunted by the sight
I saw my teacher at the beach
Serengeti Betty (Jeff Mondak, Mick Brady)
In Kenya and in Tanzania
Gazelles galore will gladly see ya
But they’re not out there on vacation,
They’re travelling with the great migration
The wildebeests all roam in bunches
While cheetahs run and look for lunches
It’s March again, the rain keeps pouring
And one proud voice is loudly roaring
Serengeti Betty
The zebras all know of her fame
Serengeti Betty
No hyenas better laugh at her name
Elephants sway while bats are flyin’
But no one tops this lady lion
Serengeti Betty
She’s the queen of the African plain
Is it fact or hypothetical
Aardvarks like things alphabetical
The antelopes go anteloping
Will the ostrich fly? He’s hoping!
Ol Doinyo Lengai burps and rumbles
A playful monkey rolls and tumbles
Above it all there soars an eagle
Who gazes on the one most regal
Hippopotamus amphibius
Sagittarius serpentarius
Inhabiting this ecosystem
Are scores more species, can you list them?
The Mysterious Room (Jeff Mondak, Mick Brady)
The legend tells the story well
A teachers’ paradise
With chairs and tables made of gold
And sculptures carved from ice
A string quartet plays soft and sweet
There’s candy, cake and more
They prob’ly go on pony rides
When they’re behind that door
Teachers’ lounge, teachers’ lounge
What’s inside the teachers’ lounge?
Fantastic sights beyond compare?
The greatest marvels anywhere?
No kid goes, so no kid knows
What’s inside the teachers’ lounge
No kid goes, so no kid knows
What’s inside the teachers’ lounge
The secret of the teachers’ lounge
Has never been exposed
If children try to sneak a peek
The door is quickly closed
It’s said that back in ‘99
A daring boy named Ken
Boldly walked into the lounge
He’s not been seen again
There’s much that we don’t understand
Perhaps it’s meant to be
The questions linger on and on into eternity
But since we brighten teachers’ days
And make our teachers proud
The greatest mystery of the lounge
Is why kids aren’t allowed
Triple The Pickle (Jeff Mondak, Mick Brady)
Ravish the radish and channel the cheese
The earthworms are praying
But they're not on their knees
Pity the pretty who’re losing their looks
Accountants who litter are trashing the books
Delicate dolphins who dance on the moon
Say Flipper flips pancakes a little too soon
Triple the pickle and double the rent
I don’t think it’s broken
But Lordy it’s bent
Before, before, before
Before, before, before
I’ve heard it said more than once
That it’s all been said before
The pandas will panic with shadings of gray
So hide all the hippos who happen this way
Unions and onions, I’m paying my dues
While Three-Fingered Willie keeps counting by twos
The frog on the toadstool, he’s so out of place
The sketchpad has vanished, of course there’s no trace
A rickety rhombus is feeling awry
It’s too soon to know but it’s too late to try
Slanty italics are not to be trusted
So sprinkle some dust where it needs to be dusted
A choice to be made is there for the choosing
Yet this one and that one, neither is losing.
Inspector 47 (Jeff Mondak, Mick Brady)
I opened up the package
And a little tag fell out
Inspector 47 had approved without a doubt
My car had passed inspection
But it gave me little joy
For there inside the package
Sat a broken purple toy
Inspector 47
At least you could have signed your actual name
Inspector 47
The way you’ve done your job’s a rotten shame
Inspector 47
I’m so sad I think I’m gonna frown
Inspector 47
You know you’ve really let me down?
You need to be more careful
When the box is sealed and packed
‘cause no kid wants a race car
With a windshield that’s been cracked
You say it passed inspection
But the hub caps didn’t match
A car’s not new and shiny
When the front door has a scratch
Hey listen, mister, get inspecting
If it’s broken, you better get rejecting
Send us toys that bring enjoyment
Or we’ll demand your unemployment
Toledo Has Zombies (Jeff Mondak, Mick Brady)
Toledo has zombies who roam through the streets
They’re looking for tasty, delectable treats
In closets, in attics and even in drains
They’re searching for livers and elbows and brains
They’re marching on Central and Summit tonight
These thousands of zombies are out for a bite
Toledo has zombies, Columbus does too
They’re hungry for snacks and they’re looking for you
Ooonnggaa, ooonnggaa, eyes and tongue
Ooonnggaa, ooonnggaa, old and young
Ooonnggaa, ooonnggaa, brains to eat
Ooonnggaa, ooonnggaa, tasty treat
Toledo has zombies, it’s truly a curse
A werewolf is bad but a zombie’s much worse
There's zombies in parks and zombies at pools
And zombies in hallways, yes zombies in schools
They’re smacking their lips, a most horrible sound
While dreaming that dinner is soon to be found
A leg for the munching, a head for dessert
And eyeballs are special, you bite and they squirt
Toledo has zombies, there’s nothing to do
The young ones, it’s said, look exactly like you
While old ones come smiling to classrooms and homes
To sing you their songs and read you their poems
The Off-To-School Blues (Jeff Mondak, Mick Brady)
I woke up this morning
‘cause I have to go to school
Said I woke up this morning
You know I have to go to school
But what I really wanna do
Is go to the swimming pool
I spill my glass of O.J.
So I clean it with a towel
Oh yeah I spill my glass of O.J.
So I clean it with a towel
The cereal box is empty
Now my stomach’s gonna growl
I look out the window
I see it’s pouring rain
I look out the window
I see it’s pouring rain
It’s gonna soak my sneakers
And waterlog my brain
I’ve made it to the school house
Like a thousand times before
Oh yeah I’ve made it to the school house
Just like a thousand times before
Kids are grinning at the window
As I’m walking through the door
Now all my clothes are dripping
My head is like a brick
I said all my clothes are dripping
My head is heavy as a brick
I should have stayed at home
And called to say that I was sick
There's really no escaping
My duty is a curse, oh yeah
Yeah there’s really no escaping baby
Yeah my duty, it's a curse
You know my students are demanding
And the Principal is worse
I said my students are demanding
And the Principal is worse