Doing The Rock 'N' Roll Hop  (Jeff Mondak, Sergio Wals, Mick Brady)

 

Wiggly toes and wiggly fingers

Sing along with all the singers

Rhythmic sounds that get us dancing

Music, music, it’s entrancing

 

Magic tones, we’re so excited

Firecrackers all ignited

Energy that’s quickly creeping

On our feet and now we’re leaping

 

We’re all smiling, we’re all jumping

Arms are waving, fists are pumping

We’re all smiling, we’re all jumping

Arms are waving, fists are pumping

Doing the rock 'n' roll

Doing the rock 'n' roll

Doing the rock 'n' roll hop

 

Racing fast and never stopping

Guitar chords that keep us hopping

Feet are stomping, hands are clapping

No one’s grandpa should be napping

 

Sing so loud the window’s shaking

Richter thinks the earth is quaking

Listen for I speak profoundly

Later we’ll be sleeping soundly

 

It’s better than a sugar rush or cartoons on TV

It twice as good as being bad

It’s rock and roll for me

 

 

Dear Lunch Lady (Jeff Mondak, Milo Anderson, Mick Brady)

You always serve us food to eat

There’s mac-and-cheese and mystery meat

There’s cream of this and cream of that

The cans have pictures of a cat

 

Today it’s chicken cordon bletch

First we eat it, then we retch

The green beans are a shade of gray

But that’s not what I’m here to say

 

Put a hair net on, put a hair net on

Ah come on lady, put a hair net on

There’s hair in my burger and hair in my fries

The hair everywhere has lost its surprise

Put a hair net on, put a hair net on

Ah come on lady, put a hair net on

 

A hair inside my pizza roll

These follicles, they take a toll

A lunch that’s bald is what I crave

Spaghetti shouldn’t need to shave

 

I think it’s time to tell your boss

My pudding came with dental floss

Your ladle work is among the best

But still I have this one request

 

We’ve followed you through bobs and perms

I’d rather eat a bowl of worms

There’s me and Sam and Mike and Keith

We've all got hair stuck in our teeth

 

 

There's A Party In The Kitchen Every Night (Jeff Mondak, Mick Brady)

Knives and forks make sure they’re shiny

Crock pot simmers, passing time

Measuring spoons from large to tiny

Squirm while dishrag scrubs the grime

 

Whisk and blender both start spinning

Stove-top burners come aglow

Another fun time’s soon beginning

Teapot whistles, start the show!

 

There’s a party in the kitchen

There’s a party in the kitchen

There’s a party in the kitchen every night

While humans doze and dream in bed

The gadgets dance and sing instead

There’s a party in the kitchen every night

 

Toaster casts the cup’s reflection

Keys and cell phone love to hide

Washer polkas with perfection

Waltzing with his dryer bride

 

Pots and pans continue crashing

Fridge and oven barely move

Funny faucet keeps on splashing

The old computer won’t approve

 

The rising sun disrupts the riot

Fun time ends with morning light

For the moment all turns quiet

Until the day gives way to night

 

 

I Saw My Teacher At The Beach  (Jeff Mondak, Tim Frazier)

While sitting in the bleachers

I thought of kids and teachers

How as a rule, away from school

A teacher’s best unseen

We’re with them in our classes

But not among the masses

To spot one at the mall or park

Should never be routine

 

I saw my teacher at the beach

I saw my teacher at the beach

The whole thing took me by surprise

There wasn’t time to shade my eyes

I saw my teacher at the beach

 

Some teachers may have houses

And kids and dogs and spouses

But I’m the kind to lose my mind

When one goes driving by

My head’s been set to spinning

I saw my teacher grinning

She threw that Frisbee like a pro

When I saw her last July

 

I saw my teacher at the beach

I saw my teacher at the beach

Congress ought to make a law

To stop the kind of thing I saw

I saw my teacher at the beach

 

Who’s to say when they’ll appear

You never know when one is near

At swimming pools, the corner store

And maybe knocking at your door

 

I saw my teacher at the beach

I saw my teacher at the beach

She had to know that it was wrong

But still she stayed there all day long

I saw my teacher at the beach

 

I saw my teacher at the beach

I saw my teacher at the beach

I toss and turn in bed each night

My dreams are haunted by the sight

I saw my teacher at the beach

 

 

Serengeti Betty (Jeff Mondak, Mick Brady)

In Kenya and in Tanzania

Gazelles galore will gladly see ya

But they’re not out there on vacation,

They’re travelling with the great migration

 

The wildebeests all roam in bunches

While cheetahs run and look for lunches

It’s March again, the rain keeps pouring

And one proud voice is loudly roaring

 

Serengeti Betty

The zebras all know of her fame

Serengeti Betty

No hyenas better laugh at her name

Elephants sway while bats are flyin’

But no one tops this lady lion

Serengeti Betty

She’s the queen of the African plain

 

Is it fact or hypothetical

Aardvarks like things alphabetical

The antelopes go anteloping

Will the ostrich fly? He’s hoping!

 

Ol Doinyo Lengai burps and rumbles

A playful monkey rolls and tumbles

Above it all there soars an eagle

Who gazes on the one most regal

 

Hippopotamus amphibius

Sagittarius serpentarius

Inhabiting this ecosystem

Are scores more species, can you list them?

 

 

The Mysterious Room (Jeff Mondak, Mick Brady)

The legend tells the story well

A teachers’ paradise

With chairs and tables made of gold

And sculptures carved from ice

A string quartet plays soft and sweet

There’s candy, cake and more

They prob’ly go on pony rides

When they’re behind that door

 

Teachers’ lounge, teachers’ lounge

What’s inside the teachers’ lounge?

Fantastic sights beyond compare?

The greatest marvels anywhere?

No kid goes, so no kid knows

What’s inside the teachers’ lounge

No kid goes, so no kid knows

What’s inside the teachers’ lounge

 

The secret of the teachers’ lounge

Has never been exposed

If children try to sneak a peek

The door is quickly closed

It’s said that back in ‘99

A daring boy named Ken

Boldly walked into the lounge

He’s not been seen again

 

There’s much that we don’t understand

Perhaps it’s meant to be

The questions linger on and on into eternity

But since we brighten teachers’ days

And make our teachers proud

The greatest mystery of the lounge

Is why kids aren’t allowed

 

 

Triple The Pickle (Jeff Mondak, Mick Brady)

Ravish the radish and channel the cheese

The earthworms are praying

But they're not on their knees

Pity the pretty who’re losing their looks

Accountants who litter are trashing the books

Delicate dolphins who dance on the moon

Say Flipper flips pancakes a little too soon

Triple the pickle and double the rent

I don’t think it’s broken

But Lordy it’s bent

 

Before, before, before

Before, before, before

I’ve heard it said more than once

That it’s all been said before

 

The pandas will panic with shadings of gray

So hide all the hippos who happen this way

Unions and onions, I’m paying my dues

While Three-Fingered Willie keeps counting by twos

The frog on the toadstool, he’s so out of place

The sketchpad has vanished, of course there’s no trace

A rickety rhombus is feeling awry

It’s too soon to know but it’s too late to try

 

Slanty italics are not to be trusted

So sprinkle some dust where it needs to be dusted

A choice to be made is there for the choosing

Yet this one and that one, neither is losing.

 

Inspector 47 (Jeff Mondak, Mick Brady)

I opened up the package

And a little tag fell out

Inspector 47 had approved without a doubt

My car had passed inspection

But it gave me little joy

For there inside the package

Sat a broken purple toy

 

Inspector 47

At least you could have signed your actual name

Inspector 47

The way you’ve done your job’s a rotten shame

Inspector 47

I’m so sad I think I’m gonna frown

Inspector 47

You know you’ve really let me down?

 

You need to be more careful

When the box is sealed and packed

‘cause no kid wants a race car

With a windshield that’s been cracked

You say it passed inspection

But the hub caps didn’t match

A car’s not new and shiny

When the front door has a scratch

 

Hey listen, mister, get inspecting

If it’s broken, you better get rejecting

Send us toys that bring enjoyment

Or we’ll demand your unemployment

 

 

Toledo Has Zombies (Jeff Mondak, Mick Brady)

Toledo has zombies who roam through the streets

They’re looking for tasty, delectable treats

In closets, in attics and even in drains

They’re searching for livers and elbows and brains

 

They’re marching on Central and Summit tonight

These thousands of zombies are out for a bite

Toledo has zombies, Columbus does too

They’re hungry for snacks and they’re looking for you

 

Ooonnggaa, ooonnggaa, eyes and tongue

Ooonnggaa, ooonnggaa, old and young

Ooonnggaa, ooonnggaa, brains to eat

Ooonnggaa, ooonnggaa, tasty treat

 

Toledo has zombies, it’s truly a curse

A werewolf is bad but a zombie’s much worse

There's zombies in parks and  zombies at pools

And zombies in hallways, yes zombies in schools

 

They’re smacking their lips, a most horrible sound

While dreaming that dinner is soon to be found

A leg for the munching, a head for dessert

And eyeballs are special, you bite and they squirt

 

Toledo has zombies, there’s nothing to do

The young ones, it’s said, look exactly like you

While old ones come smiling to classrooms and homes

To sing you their songs and read you their poems

 

 

The Off-To-School Blues (Jeff Mondak, Mick Brady)

I woke up this morning

 ‘cause I have to go to school

Said I woke up this morning

You know I have to go to school

But what I really wanna do

Is go to the swimming pool

 

I spill my glass of O.J.

So I clean it with a towel

Oh yeah I spill my glass of O.J.

So I clean it with a towel

The cereal box is empty

Now my stomach’s gonna growl

 

I look out the window

I see it’s pouring rain

I look out the window

I see it’s pouring rain

It’s gonna soak my sneakers

And waterlog my brain

 

I’ve made it to the school house

Like a thousand times before

Oh yeah I’ve made it to the school house

Just like a thousand times before

Kids are grinning at the window

As I’m walking through the door

 

Now all my clothes are dripping

My head is like a brick

I said all my clothes are dripping

My head is heavy as a brick

I should have stayed at home

And called to say that I was sick

 

There's really no escaping

My duty is a curse, oh yeah

Yeah there’s really no escaping baby

Yeah my duty, it's a curse

You know my students are demanding

And the Principal is worse

I said my students are demanding

And the Principal is worse

 

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